Parent Coaching/Family Coaching

Parent Coaching / Family Coaching

You owe it to your child….

Does your family struggle with a behaviorally challenging child? Is everything a battle? Does your child feel unseen, bullied, lack meaningful friendships, having trouble socially, and or academically?

Linda is a credentialed professional in Special Education, Behavioral interventions, and parent coaching. She has many years of ABA experience, teaching, tutoring, mental health management, as well as life experience to guide and assist you with your child/ family and the day to day problem behaviors.

When addressing parenting and family related problems, only someone that has experienced the same concerns that you face can effectively assist you. Licenses as well as certifications are but part of the equation to problem resolution. Real-world experience is invaluable in this regard…


Your family and/or child 
 Needs Help if…

Is someone in your family diagnosed with….

  • Autism/Asperger’s
  • ADHD/ADD
  • Anxiety
  • Have an IEP
  • Depression
  • Bipolar Disorder, (IED) Intermittent Explosive Disorder
  • Personality Disorder
  • Academic Difficulties in reading
  • Been Bullied
  • Have social phobia’s
  • Social Skills Disorders
  • etc…

Parent Coaching for the family by a Behavioral Expert

 Nationally: Phone Consultations / Video Chat/ Skye/ Face Time services available

Records Review and IEP consultations are available by appointment

In Person Consultations available in by appointment

 Behavior Analysis and Professional training:

–    Applied Behavior Analysis

–    Positive Behavioral Supports

–    Teaching Family Model

–    Case Review

–   Treatment plan development and more…

  • online and phone supports
Professional Parent and Family Coaching sessions are for :

Mothers

Fathers

Foster and Stepparents

Grandparents

Siblings and Other Caregivers

 It’s up to ALL of us to make the changes! Don’t wait for what you think is the right time… “I need better insurance, can’t afford the help, maybe he/she will grow out of it…”

Is that internet service, video game subscription, cable TV, cell phone, dinner out at the fast food joint, movie, or even vacation more important than the health of your family?

Invest in the future of our children.

Now’s the time.

We can’t have another child die from being neglected, and families suffer horrible consequences. Don’t be that guy who says…. “if he/she only got the right help.”

GET HELP NOW…call 973-534-3402

to make an apoointment

For additional information please contact us at… specialneedsnj@hotmail.com

or fill in your contact information and we will call you

The Emotions of Caring for Elderly Parents

As your parents or your spouse’s parents get older, they will probably need your help. They will also possibly need professional help with their daily care. The very people whom you depended on in the past will be turning to you for assistance. The fundamental nature of your relationship with your parents will change in a more dramatic way than you have ever experienced. Now you and your spouse will be the caregivers.

Caring for your parents as they get older is often a stressful experience. There are many emotions you might experience along with your new responsibility. When you become the caretaker of your parents, it’s very important for you to be aware of your emotions. It can make the difference between having a meaningful, rewarding experience and having one of the worst experiences of your life. The following sections describe the most common emotions people feel when they are faced with their parents becoming older and less independent.        

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Denial

One of the first things you might feel when facing a parent’s decline in function is—nothing. It’s very common to initially be in denial about a difficult situation. When you are in denial about something, you are trying to convince yourself that it’s not really happening. For instance, imagine that your father, who lives alone, is slowing down and becoming weaker. You want to keep thinking of him as strong and healthy, so you tell yourself that he’s generally fine. In the short run, that makes you feel better. But, your father probably shouldn’t be living alone. And you won’t be able to help him find a safer place until you are able to acknowledge his limitations. Denial can prevent you from facing facts and making necessary plans.

Anger

Another emotion you might feel is anger at your parents for being unable to take care of themselves. For example, you might feel that it’s their fault for not staying healthy, even though you know that they are not getting sick on purpose. You might resent the fact that they are taking so much of your time and energy. You are especially vulnerable to feeling anger if your relationship with your parents was less than perfect. It’s more difficult to take care of someone that you feel some resentment toward. But, even if you have a great relationship with your parents, caring for them might feel like a huge burden. It makes sense that you might feel angry because you have been shouldered with a big responsibility.

Think Twice

Don’t take your anger at the situation out on your spouse. Instead, discuss your feelings of anger or resentment with him or her. Remember that your spouse can be your strongest source of support during this difficult time.

Helplessness

Even though you are grown up, you might feel like your parents should always be there to take care of you and still help you through difficult times. Seeing your mother or father helpless can make you feel helpless. You might think “If my parents can’t take care of me, who will?” You are your parents’ child, even as an adult. And when one of your parents is weak, part of you is going to feel like a scared, helpless child. Even though you know that you can take care of yourself, you still might feel that you need your parents to take care of you.

Guilt

Guilt is one of the strongest emotions people feel as a parent becomes older and less able to care for him- or herself. There are many reasons that you might be feeling guilty. You might feel that you are not doing enough to help your parents. This might be true, or you might be doing more than a reasonable amount and feel guilty anyway. You might feel that if you had done something different years ago, then your parent would not be so ill now. For instance, you might think that if you had taken your mother’s complaint about feeling weak and tired more seriously, her cancer would have been diagnosed earlier and she would have been cured.

If one of your parents is very sick and needs a lot of expensive care and a lot of your energy, you might be secretly wishing that he or she would die so that it would be over. This thought would probably cause you to feel incredibly guilty. It’s very common to feel this, and it’s a completely normal reaction. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your sick parent and it doesn’t mean you are a terrible child. It means that it’s very difficult and possibly very expensive to care for an ill person—realities that can prompt all kinds of unexpected thoughts and feelings. The best way to deal with these feelings is to acknowledge them but still do as much as you can to care for your parents.

A Sense of Loss

When your parent is no longer functioning at 100 percent, that is a big loss. It’s normal to feel sad, and it’s actually a mature feeling. Feeling sad when your parents are ill and unable to take care of themselves means that you have accepted the situation and the loss that occurs when your parent’s health declines. You shouldn’t hold back tears. Crying is part of feeling sad and it’s okay to express your emotions. That doesn’t mean that you should spend years moping around and crying as your parents become more and more ill. But sadness comes with loss, and you should give yourself permission to feel it.

Mortality

Parents are the buffer between you and your mortality. Most people are able to ignore the inevitability of their own death as long as their parents are alive and healthy. But as your parent’s health declines, you will probably become highly aware of your own mortality. You might start thinking about the end of your own life or have frequent nightmares about dying. You might start examining where you are in life and re-evaluating your long-term goals. When you face the death of someone close to you, it will often spark thoughts about your own life. This is good, and the way to make use of this constructively is to realize how precious life is and what is really important to you.

IEP Tips

IEP Tip: Let’s talk independent evaluations. If an independent evaluator provides a “rule out” diagnosis, he needs to explain to parents that a child is at-risk for a disability. It does not mean the disability, along with an inability to make effective progress, exists currently and that the school should be providing specialized instruction or related services now. Special education is not pro-active, it is reactive. If a child is “at-risk” of a reading disorder, but accessing, obtain the general ed benchmark testing and keep careful watch. Ensure RTI interventions are put in place, if appropriate. But, telling the parent of a young student (K or 1) that specialized instruction is required for what very well could be a reading disability, but is not now, is placing a lot of stress and guilt on the parent. In addition, when outside testers make recommendations, they need to take care to write what the specific child needs, not what every child with the diagnosis would benefit from. Some parents then want the school to implement 3 pages of best practice accomodations for a disability which may really be a relative weakness. “Access to an iPad or laptop” does not mean a student requires a dedicated device, “frequent teacher check-ins” does not mean every moment and every worksheet. Parents may think accommodations mean the child’s performance should be perfect and they jump to the conclusion that if there is an error, the teacher didn;t do their job. The bottom line is everyone needs to be reasonable (schools, evaluators, parents, and advocates). We need to look at the big picture. A good advocate will tell the parent whether an IEP or 504 is sufficient, and whether one is obtainable, and then help the parent build a case for services. A good advocate may help the parent access outside services. A great advocate will be honest and supportive; she doesn’t tell parents only what they want to hear.

 

 

 

IEP Tip: When a school has no data to prove their case with, it does not mean it is easy to get them to do the right thing. It means you have a much stronger case. Poorly written IEPs have general goals and horrifically bad unmeasurable benchmarks. The IEP drives placement (type of and then specific program location). Make sure progress reporting on the IEP goals will yield measurable data. And remember the IEP itself should not mention specific placement, it should define the students needs to allow the team to determine the type of placement and then recommend where that program can be delivered. Too often placement drives draft IEPs and that is backwards and contrary to the regulations.